If you're a Christian woman, you have heard or read countless sermons on the faith of Sarah and Rachel. These women in the Old Testament can teach us many great lessons. Many teach on the faith of these women as they wait for their blessings of giving birth to a son. But not many sermons are given on the lesson of each woman, who in her zeal to be a mother and earn her husband's respect and affections, allowed her husband to conceive a child with her maidservant. Oh, the drama that follows!!! So yes, learn from Sarah and Rachel's faith and blessing, but also be warned of their folly.
You can find Sarah's story in Genesis16-18:15 and 20-23. Many people give sermons on how faithful Sarah was to wait until she was in her 90s to give birth to Isaac, the son who began to fulfill the promise that Abraham's descendants would be a numerous as the stars in the sky (Genesis 15:5). However, let's not gloss over the fact that before she knew better, in her impatience and distrust of God's promise and clearly laid out plan (Genesis 18:10), Sarah decided to take matters into her own hands. In Genesis 16, we know that Sarah (then Sarai) allowed her husband to conceive a child with Sarah's maid. That caused a whole world of hurt, emotional pain, and marital problems to be sure. Sarah got impatient and tried to rush God's plan. Years later, when God visited Abraham and Sarah in the form of three visitors, Sarah still lacked faith to the point she laughed at the prophecy that she would conceive (Genesis 18).
Points to learn from Sarah:
1) Try to not be so consumed the desire to have a child that you put your marriage at risk.
2) Exclude those who are not needed on your journey to parenthood. The exceptions being your doctors and maybe close friends, prayer partners, or a family member. Not everyone needs to be involved or need to know the details.
3) WAIT. Proverbs 19:2 (NIV) states, "It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." In your time of waiting, gather knowledge and seek God's wisdom on the path He would have you pursue.
From Rachel, we learn some of the same lessons. I identify a lot with Rachel; I waited years after most of my friends were married to get married. I had to wait until both my husband and I were made ready by God. If we had been married at a young age, it would have been a disaster! However, God knew what he was doing to make us wait. We see the same patience, timing, and great love in the story of Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29-30). Jacob had to wait 14 years to marry the love of his life!!! However, Jacob and Rachel had to continue to wait to conceive a child. Here again, we see Rachel allowing her husband to conceive a child with another woman (2 women if you remember that Rachel was Jacob's second wife). Again, drama! I understand that modern women would not necessarily allow their husbands to cheat, but we do have the medical advantage of using surrogacy, egg donation, and adoption.
But here are the points to learn from Rachel:
1) Carefully pray and prepare for the emotions that will accompany surrogacy, egg donation, and adoption. Seek out a counselor to begin to face the emotions that may arise. The emotions are normal, but should not be ignored.
2) Be aware of jealousy. Genesis 30:1 - "When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, 'Give me children or I will die!'" The argument that followed ended in an extramarital affair and heartbreak... and another delay in Rachel conceiving her own child.
3) Remember that God is all-powerful. Genesis 30:22 - "Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb."
Even when we take matters into our own hands, when we become impatient, when we rush to make decisions without knowledge but only faulty human emotions, God can fix all of the problems that arise. From both Sarah and Rachel we see two very clear examples of how NOT to wait. BUT, the good news is, that even though both women made mistakes in their times of waiting, their prayers were still heard by God and they were blessed with sons.
In your time of waiting, attempt to "wait well." Seek knowledge. Go to doctors. Pray. Take care of your health. Invest in your marriage. But also know that God has called you to a time of waiting. Try not to rush through it (I'm preaching to myself here). Look around. Don't be hasty. Learn the lesson God is teaching you and learn it well. Learn from other women how to wait, what to do in the meantime, and how to avoid their mistakes.
Most of all, take comfort that God loves you and hears you. Wait for Him.
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